Heroically Crossed Over
by CalKJ
Summary: Worlds tend to have their own heroes, regardless of how often Sora, Riku, or the other meddlers visit them. Usually, the meddling goes unsupervised, setting up for unforgettable encounters between heroes and villains alike.
1. Wolverine is Awesome

**Chapter 1: Wolverine is Awesome**

"Dude, I'm high as fuck," Riku openly admitted, standing on the forest's cliffside. As he flicked the roach away, he saw Sora returning from taking a leak on a nearby tree.

Zipping up his pants, Sora agreed, "Yeah, that stuff Aladdin gave us was off the hook."

Talking about the forest landscape they were currently chilling in, Riku commented, "Man, this place is crawling with soldiers. Good thing they don't see us standing here."

"Yeah, they're probably not that friendly—oh, shit, Riku! There he is!"

"No fucking way—is that him?" Riku looked at where Sora was pointing.

Deep in the forest, amid a clearing where numerous soldiers idly stood by, Riku and Sora could spot a man in a white tank-top and blue jeans about to disturb the peace. The guy clearly wasn't screwing around; using some bone claws that protruded from between his knuckles, he began slicing and dicing anyone that got in his way.

"Holy shit—that's Wolverine! THE Wolverine!" Riku excitedly shouted.

"See?" said Sora. "I told you he'd be here! Aw, man—he's chopping those guys to pieces!"

"Good god, he's brutal! He just deflected a bunch of bullets with HIS CLAWS!"

"Dude, we need some theme music for this!" Whipping out his Gummi phone, Sora looked for a suitable track, asking, "How about some Slipknot?"

"Dude, I don't care—just fuckin' play it!" Riku could hardly contain his excitement.

"Right on!" Behold, Sora began playing "Before I Forget."

As the heavy metal song began its intro, Riku and Sora began head-banging to the tune, the former of whom requesting, "Turn that shit up, bro!"

"Hell yeah!" Sora obliged, cranking the volume up to the max.

And so, both teens watched in stunned silence as Wolverine chopped a guy's arms off, kicked him into another soldier-boy, and pounced onto some other guy shooting an assault rifle, then digging his claws into the guy's neck.

"Dude, this so fucking fits the music," Riku said, breaking out in goosebumps.

While Riku rubbed down his own arms, Sora began singing the lyrics out loud, _"Stapled shut! Inside and outside wood and I'm—SEALED IN TIGHT!"_

Riku didn't know the lyrics, so he just started playing the air guitar while Wolverine stabbed a guy in the gut, picked him up, and threw him into some old ruins, impaling him on a spike.

"Oh, shit, dude—that was so metal!" Sora remarked.

"Fuckin' A—should we be recording this?"

"Nah, let's not ruin the moment!"

"Good thinking!"

"Oh, shit—did you see that? Wolverine just ripped out a guy's liver and ATE IT!"

"WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"Nah, he didn't eat it, but can you imagine if he did?"

"That would've been pretty freakin' savage."

After laying waste to the whole platoon of minions, Wolverine set his sights on Sora and Riku. Watching him sprint in their direction, Riku squinted his eyes and said, "Dude, I think he's coming after us."

Still rocking to the loud Slipknot song, Sora surmised, "Probably to give us a better view of the action, huh?"

"Nah, like, he killed everyone already. I think he wants to kill us, now!"

"Oh, shit," Sora cursed, realizing how problematic that was.

Approaching them on the forest's cliff, Wolverine growled with his claws bared, yelling, "Berserker Charge!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! We're the good guys!" Riku yelled.

"Yeah, see—we don't have any guns!" Sora added.

Skidding to a halt, Hugh Jackman gave the two teens a suspicious look before asking, "What the hell are kids like you even doing here?"

Riku answered, "We're, uh, just checking out your moves."

Sora lied, "It's for a school project."

Retracting his bone claws, Wolverine growled, "This ain't no place fer a couple of schoolboys. Get outta here while ya can."

Shaking his head, Riku said, "And miss out on you shredding dudes like yesterday's news? Not gonna happen."

Summoning his Kingdom Key, Sora said, "And besides, we can handle ourselves out here. Clearly not like you, though!"

Looking around, Wolverine asked, "Where's that music coming from?"

Sora held up his Gummi phone. "Oh, yeah! It's your official theme song—you're a fuckin' rock star, dude!"

Modestly rubbing the back of his head, Logan replied, "Well, I wouldn't say that. I'm just a mercenary, after all. Speakin' of which, it's time for me to get paid."

"Do your thing, Bro-verine!" Riku said with a salute.

Suddenly, the sound of a helicopter closing in on their position filled their ears. Not long after hearing it did all three see the chopper rising from cliff's edge. With little time to react, they were suddenly bombarded by rockets that shattered the cliff.

While Riku and Sora dove deeper into the forest, Wolverine instead chose to jump and land on the chopper's windshield. Riku and Sora peeped this ballsy move, mentally taking notes for their next adventure.

"What a fucking badass," Riku gushed.

Then, Wolverine started punching the glass of the windshield, eventually breaking that sucker before yanking out the pilot. And then, while clinging onto the exterior of the helicopter's broken cockpit, Wolverine lifted the pilot up into the spinning rotor blades, absolutely shredding that guy's head off. There was blood EVERYWHERE.

Sora and Riku were on their knees when they witnessed this violent, sickening, animalistic, and totally awesome act. Mouths hitting the floor, they started speaking in tongues—the only way their brains knew how to process such awesomeness.

Finally regaining some semblance of speech, Sora yelled, "DUDE—!"

"I KNOW!" Riku yelled back. "I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW!"

"ME TOO!" Indeed, both boys had tears of joy streaming down their faces.

"HUG ME!" Riku commanded, embracing his Keyblade-comrade. And so, they shared a warm embrace, not having felt each other's brotherly touch in so long.

Sobbing against Riku's shoulder, Sora admitted, "I'm so sorry, Riku! I was wrong! We should've been recording this—!"

"Don't say another word," Riku sobbed right back. "We made the right choice."

Anyway, while the chopper began falling to its doom, Wolverine jumped back to the partially destroyed cliff, sharpening his claws against each other while saying, "All in a day's work. Hey…you two okay?"

Sora and Riku began bowing to the natural-born mutant, with Riku saying, "You're the God of Gore!"

"Please don't kill me!" Sora fearfully begged.

"Heh. Just don't get in my way. Later."

And with that, Wolverine ran back into the forest, in search of more goons to viciously tear asunder.

After a few moments, which consisted of more crying, hugging, and realizing they were too high for what they saw, Sora and Riku started strolling back to their Gummi ship. Sora asked, "Hey, d'ya think those guys deserved to get murdered like that?"

"Duh," Riku replied. "If you're signing up to go against the Wolverine, chances are you had it coming."

"Yeah, but…what if they had, like, families and shit?"

"Well, put it this way. Guys who spend all day trying to hunt a human slaughterhouse probably aren't that big on family values."

Understanding Riku's point, Sora said, "I get it. They were prob'ly mean to their families, and all Wolverine did was improve their lifestyle…or something—dude, you remember when he cut that guy's head off with his own helicopter?"

"Hell yeah, I do! He pretty much liquified that guy's whole skull!"

"I think I got his blood on me!"

"Gross." Suddenly, Riku asked, "Hey, when was the last time you showered?"

"It's been about a week."

"Yeah, next time, tell me that before you hug me."


	2. Weird and Vulgar

**Chapter 2: Weird and Vulgar**

Kairi took a stroll on her favorite play island in Destiny Islands. It was good to be home. The sun was going down, offering a beautiful sunset—yadda, yadda, yadda, then Magneto and Dr. Doom showed up, levitating just behind her.

"Excuse us—" said Dr. Doom.

"AAH!" Kairi shrieked.

"Our bad," said Magneto. "We should've announced our presence."

"Oh, no—it's you two again! What do you want?"

Clearing his metallic throat, Doom said, "Well, first—how do you do?"

"Yes, human, how are you?" Magneto asked.

"I'm fine. Now, again, what do you want?" Kairi questioned.

Magneto explained, "We were exploring some of Disney's intellectual properties for the sake of getting out of the house when we saw you standing there."

Doom continued, "We instantly recognized you and thought we might stop by to say hi. Ahem…"

Magneto rolled his eyes. "And to say thank you."

Confused, Kairi asked, "For what?"

"It was when you first found us in Capcom World, and I was about to take out my ungodly frustration on that factory in the wasteland," Magneto explained. "You stopped that from happening, and while I was angry about it at first, your actions prevented me from messing up my movie deal with Fox. And for that, human, I thank you."

"Don't think about it too much," Doom added.

Kairi said, "Right, so—you're welcome. Now will you please leave me in peace?"

Magneto continued, "You know, you remind me of my daughter. She's very headstrong, has wonderful intelligence, sports the red hair—but she's not a human." Shaking his head, he said, "Pity you can never meet her. I simply won't allow it."

"Great. Can we wrap this up?"

"Wait a minute," said Doctor Doom. "Are you talking about Wanda?"

Mags took a lethal tone, "Do NOT bring _that _up."

"Oh, you mean how I almost married her?"

"Aaaaaand you brought it up."

"Relax. You and the Avengers crashed the wedding before the ceremony even began—I didn't even get to the honeymoon. Shame, too. She was smokin' hot in that dress, but not nearly as smokin' hot as her son."

Both Magneto and Kairi gave WTF faces.

"No—I mean, he was smokin' hot after I fried him with my finger lasers in front of his mom."

Magneto criticized, "That was a weird way to say that, Victor."

"Go to hell. I had fun. I even turned into a good guy for five minutes."

Kairi excused herself, "I'm gonna leave, now."

As the princess walked back to the docks and prepared her boat for return to the mainland, Magneto and Doom got into a verbal argument about prenuptial agreements, which led to a physical altercation that saw laser beams, shockwaves, and intense magic spells being implored against one another. One of Doom's lasers struck Kairi's boat as she paddled in the opposite direction, leading to a loud sigh before she jumped ship and swam the remaining distance.

Just as she made it safely to the shore of the mainland, Kairi was almost taken out by Doom's flailing form as he went crashing into the beachfront. Yelling back at Magneto, he said, "That all you got? You fight like a small, remedial, human, pussy-punk-bitch who's not a mutant!"

"You...are definitely purchasing ice cream sundaes after I mop the floor with you!" said Magneto.

Strolling back to the car of her friend, Axel, Kairi ignored Magneto's ice cream resolution as he blasted more magnetic shockwaves, all of which missed Doom and nearly hit her.

Sitting in the car with Axel, Kairi irritably commanded, "Drive."

Checking out the fight brewing outside, Axel whistled and said, "Whoa, those guys are really throwin' down! Friends of yours?"

"Probably."

"Well, did you get any alone time on the island?"

"Not really."

"Aw, maybe next time."

Just then, Magneto and Doom landed on the hood of Axel's car, both wrestling like Olympic athletes. This prompted Axel to stick his head out the window and say, "Hey, c'mon, guys! Take it easy! This is a rental!"

Magneto tackled Doom off the car, choking his fellow super-villain as he said, "I'd better receive sprinkles on my sundae!"

"You fool!" Doom exclaimed. "MnMs are far superior!"

Loosening his grip, Magneto suddenly asked, "Wait, what were we arguing about?"

Standing back to his feet, Dr. Doom answered, "How I almost plowed your daughter."

Magneto punched him. "Let's go, Victor. I think I saw a Sonic Drive-Thru in that San Fransokyo world."

Shrugging off the jab, Doom added, "I was also going to let her toss my salad—"

Doom received another punch, falling to the ground. Magneto inferred, "Maybe we'll find an ice cream place on these islands somewhere?"

Standing back to his feet again, Doom added, "And then I was going to put on the BeeGees and drip hot candle wax—"

He got kicked in the crotch for that one. That's when Kairi informed Magneto, "Just try downtown. There's an ice cream shop in the middle of Main Street. But don't expect to find any sea-salt flavors."

Magneto asked, "Why the hell would I want sea-salt—?"

Doom returned, "Oh, and then I was gonna put on National Geographic—"

"Geez-zus!" Axel shouted. "Just stop tryna tell him about your perverted little sex fantasy! You're getting wrecked every time, dude!"

"What sex fantasy? Wanda and I were going to make dinner, which involved tossing fresh salads and whatnot. Then, we would've put on the BeeGees while making candle wax sculptures, not to mention a little downtime on the couch with the National Geographic. All of that was going to happen _before_ I tore that ass up."

From the passenger's seat of Axel's rental, Kairi commented, "In your own weird and vulgar way, that's kind of romantic."

Doctor Doom frowned behind his mask. "Who are you again?"

"…Axel, drive."


	3. Arthur's Gamble

**Chapter 3: Arthur's Gamble**

Sir Arthur drained his tall mug of alcoholic hero-fuel. "Let it be known throughout the land that _you—_a fool—provoked me—a real man!"

He whipped out his lance and hurled it right at the dartboard, a bullseye. The rest of the pub went nuts.

Thor Hemsworth congratulated him from the bar, "Excellent, Arthur! Perhaps you have not lost your luster after all this time."

"Bah—to the depths of hell with aging!" Arthur admonished, drunk and slurry. "As long there's a princess to save and pubs to frequent, I shall endure forever!"

Another Avenger, Hawkeye, spoke up from the bar, "Okay, I get all that. But why'd you have to mess up the dartboard again, man? You do this every week, now."

"Bah—to the pits of Hades with dartboards! As long as there're ghouls to punish and demon villages to pillage, I shall remain bearded forever!"

Hawkeye said, "What is wrong with—"

"What fool in his foolishly foolish ways of foolishness dares challenge a warrior of truth? You?" Arthur pointed at Viewtiful Joe, who was going up to sing the next karaoke song.

"Just 'cuz you're old don't mean I won't bust out the bread n' butter wombo-combos for your boys-section-shopping, ass-breath, polkadot-undies-wearing head-ass!" Viewtiful Joe said that, and then he started singing "Snake Eater."

"Surely, there is _someone_ here with the right-sized boulders to challenge a knight of nobility! Is it you?"

Arthur had pointed at a guy not paying attention in a booth seat. He passed out in his nachos.

Shrugging, Arthur struck a pose before saying, "Perhaps a wise decision. How about you?!"

He pointed at Jack Skellington, who played at a pool table and also cheered back, "Wowzers! You're scary for two pumpkins stacked on top of each other!" He was drunk somehow.

"I can attest to far more fearful endeavors than a simple challenge of manliness. No, the skeleton man won't suffice! Is there _NO ONE—?!"_

Suddenly, someone cleared his throat by the pool table, announcing, "I've got your challenge right here!"

The man's voice was noticeably high-pitched and kid-friendly. Not threatened in the slightest, Sir Arthur mounted a barstool to get a better view of whoever said that.

"Aha! A challenger! Reveal yourself, or forever revel in mediocrity!"

King Mickey flicked his cigar into someone's glass. Jumping up on the pool table, he lit another cigar, puffed it, and said, "Name any challenge you've got, and I'll show you a thing or two!"

"Hahaha! It seems only the mice are brave enough to step up! What say you we have a quick round of target practice amid the thoroughfares?"

Mickey downed his glass of lite beer and then downed his hard lemonade, followed by two shots of whiskey. Puffing his cigar again, the mouse-king then downed someone else's glass of Alize, ate their corn-nuts, and paid their tab. "It's **on, bi**tch." The bold was because he belched in the middle of his sentence.

* * *

**-X-**

"The rules are simple," Arthur explained. "Whoever scores a hit closest to his crotch wins!"

"Easy-peezy!" Mickey chanted.

"Ten bucks on the mouse-guy," Hawkeye bid, standing outside the bar with everyone else.

Jack Skellington estimated, "He'll be unconscious soon. Didja see how much bullshit he put in his body just now?"

Thor replied, "...He may be Asgardian."

"I'll go first." Arthur readied his lance before tossing it over one hundred feet away into a statue of Ultron Sigma. The lance jammed itself into the structure's bellybutton area.

"Nice," Mickey said.

"Indeed." Arthur pompously dusted himself off. "If you wish, Mister Mouse, you may take two steps forward for better precision."

"No need, I've got this." Mickey summoned his Star Cluster Keyblade, pausing for concentration before ninja-throwing it down the street. The Star Cluster traveled in a beeline, lodging itself right between the statue's hips.

Flabbergasted, Sir Arthur exclaimed, "_By the crown_—that was man-nificent! You may have bested me here, but what if I proposed a 'best two out of three'?"

* * *

**-X-**

"The rules are simple," Arthur explained. "Whoever gets closest to his arse wins!"

"I'm game," said Mickey.

By now, everyone else had left, seeing as how too much traveling was required for these sets of challenges. The only ones watching were Jack, Thor, and Clint.

"I'm surprised they don't just fight each other," Jeremy Renner thought out loud.

Chris Thorsworth remedied, "That's because Arthur is attempting to start a short-lived friendship with the mouse-man. They'll battle eventually."

Jack added, "That's actually why I'm still standing out here. I wanna see Mickey smash those two pumpkins already."

Arthur bequeathed this round's initiation to the king. "You won the last challenge, so you may go first, my worthy opponent."

"Hmm..." Mickey stared up at the billboard, which was lit up in the night sky and about two hundred feet above and beyond them. He tossed his Keyblade like a kunai, watching it tear through the air until it pierced the advertisement for Captain America boxer briefs. Specifically, it tore through the right butt cheek.

"A valiant effort," Arthur started, readying his lance, "but that won't spare you from the _throes_ of facing a real man!"

"Uh-huh," Mickey uh-huh'd.

Arthur tossed his lance but soon cursed, "Bollocks!"

His hand must've slipped; the lance ricocheted off a nearby street lamp, clattering ten feet away.

"Guess that means I win the challenge," Mickey assumed.

"So you assume...until we dial it up a notch!"

* * *

**-X-**

"The rules are simple," Arthur explained. "The first one to make their automobile explode wins the whole challenge."

Still the only three watching this event, Jack, Hawkeye, and Thor all erupted in slightly drunken whoas. Thor said, "Look at that, a power move!"

Hawkeye asked, "Geez, are they really gonna blow up their own cars?"

"Hope so," Jack yawned. "I've been holding in skeleton-urine since Joe started singing, and I really want to piss on a fire."

Hawkeye asked, "Skeleton-urine? Wait, where do you piss from?"

"Skeleton-penis."

Mickey voiced his concern, "Okay, I was cool with the first two things we did, but now this just seems like blatant destruction of public property. Can't we settle this with a simple drinking competition?"

"I've seen the way YOU drink, so nice try." Arthur aimed his crossbow at the parked sedan's gas tank. "Time starts now!"

As Arthur rained shot after shot into the random vehicle, Mickey sighed. He cast Firaga on both cars and watched them explode. "Do I win, now?"

"Egad!" Arthur had been knocked to the ground, now sitting on his ass while staring at the wild flames. "Oh, right. I forgot I have fire-magic, too."

"Look, it's been a blast, but I've gotta get outta here before the cops show."

"Cops? You worry of _cops_ in the Capital City of Capcom? What do you think, that you're in Red Grave, or Raccoon City, or something? You think you're in New York City? You think this is Namco Bandai? You think this be the Nintendo? You think this is Rockstar fucking Games? No, you're fine here."

"I guess—"

"HEY!" A woman's loud voice interrupted Mickey from behind them. "What in Berial's Blazes are you two doing?"

"Oh, no, not her," Hawkeye dreaded, looking for a place to hide his body and soul.

"We should go—like, now," Thor said, rushing back in the bar's direction, and also forgetting he could fly.

Thinking it over, Jack rationalized, "Drunk, hetero men running _away_ from a gal with all her skin? Better sleep in a pile, tonight."

While Hawkeye followed Thor, and also while Jack cricket-jumped to the rooftops, Arthur dreaded, "Oh, dear. Not her."

Mickey looked back at the smoking carnage, then back to her. "Uh...was that your car?"

The woman, dressed in red pants and a white button-up, scolded them in a Scottish accent, _"No, _but clearly that wasn't yours!"

"Morrigan, my dear," Arthur slurred, still quite inebriated. "How are the **boso**ms?"

"It seems you two boys have been naughty this evening," Morrigan observed, tapping her chin.

"Look, ma'am, we don't want any trouble," Mickey coaxed.

"Ah, that's too bad. Because I do."

Suddenly, a swarm of bats overtook the woman's body, transforming her attire into her usual succubus getup. With a flip of her blue hair, Morrigan asked, "So, who wants to feed me first?"

"Iiiiiiii'm gettin' the hell outta here," Mickey replied, sprinting in the opposite direction.

Arthur called after Mickey, "Wait...! There's still time for another challenge—!"

He got kicked in the head. After losing his armor and passing out, Arthur became the subject of Morrigan's unique punishment.

"As per usual, your drunken escapades have put you and your spotted undies right back on the menu." Morrigan kicked him to his back. "Ugh, just lie still."

While Morrigan sucked on some Arthur-soul, Mickey made it back to his Gummi ship. Breathing a sigh of relief, he pushed the start button...and heard that sucker stall.

"Aw, for cryin' out loud!" He spotted the culprit; the interior lights were left on. Pulling out his Gummi phone, he thought of anyone who might still be awake this time of night. It was already past twelve.

"Hm," he hummed, scrolling past Donald and Goofy, knowing they'd leak this to Queen Minnie. He saw Riku's name and immediately called him. An immediate voicemail. Not too far down the list from Riku was Sora, so he called him.

"King Mickey~, what's up?" Sora answered on camera.

"Hey, ole buddy, ole pal!" Mickey greeted. "Uh, are you too busy to help a friend out?"

"Umm..." In Sora's room, the young man glanced down at his traced-out blueprints of a suit and tie crossed with a McGuffin. "Nah, what d'ya need?"

"A jumpstart. My ship's battery died."

"Ah, geez, what world are you on?"

"Uh...Capital City, Capcom?"

"Oh, wow. You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Very."

"Sweet. It's gonna take me a minute to get down to the parking garage and another twenty or twenty-five minutes to get over there. That cool?"

"Sure thing, pal! I've got some time to kill since I shouldn't drive drunk in the first place..."

"Well, yeah... I drove high earlier if that makes you feel better."

"It does. Oh, and I know those patrols are out, so be careful. Sorry to ask so late."

"It's all good, Your Maj'. I'll be there in two episodes o' DuckTales!"

"...Maj', huh? Sounds like you're calling me a mad vagina."

Sora laughed out loud, "AHAhahahahaha 'cuz His Maj' gets mad vaj'!"

"You're still high, aren't you?"

"As fuck."

"Good stuff. I'll see you in a bit."


End file.
